Being nice is now radical
Friday, October 31, 2025
This week I took part in a focus group for Nationwide centred around neurodiverse experiences. Their interest seemed good-natured, and the few of us shared some of the pain points we might have in our financial lives as well as more generally.
One neurodiverse trait I have found to be common in myself and those I know is a tendency to be very aware of how people around us are feeling or behaving. A rather persistent monitor, borne from having to predict the future to feel safe. This group was no different.
We spoke about a general collapse of sociability and kindness in the outside world. People in supermarkets not even seeing you’re there, so wrapped up in their own world. An arrogance of entitlement that shows in little interactions - less thank yous, less letting others go first.
How to deal with this growing hostility in shared spaces? My first thought is that being kind, polite, empathetic and outward-looking is now a radical act. And radical acts are there to be radically acted, of course. This does get harder - the more people push in the queue, the more your own cynicism and hostility is prone to grow. But resisting that feels like a worthy cause to me.
This, of course, is not an experience solely for the neurodiverse community. Anyone I talk to in Britain today recognises a decline in spirit. In times like this, being happy anyway is the resistance.